Reid's New Friend
by TheCompositionNotebook
Summary: Reid sets out to make himself some spaghetti for dinner, but finds that things go horribly wrong. What's a genius to do? Slight crackfic. xD


**I wrote this a bit ago, not planning on posting it. But then, I got so much positive feedback that I decided to! =D**

**Hope you guys like it! **

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Spencer Reid was standing in his kitchen, book in hand. He was re-reading one of his favorite books, one his mother used to read him, while he was making dinner. He had decided to make himself a nice dinner of spaghetti and meatballs, which was something he didn't do often. He wasn't the best cook in the world, as him team liked to point out on occasion.

Though, he didn't think he was that bad. He looked up from his book and grabbed a large stirring spoon, approaching the pot of boiling, pasta filled water. He peered into the pot before inserting the spoon, moving the thin noodles around. He had a pan in the oven, currently cooking meatballs, and a saucepan full of tomato sauce bubbling next to the pasta.

He gave one last mighty stir, before picking up his book once again as he attempted to put the spoon back in the little holder thing. Though he found that he wasn't able to.

His attention was drawn by the pasta that had moments before been boiling peacefully. It wasn't anymore. Now it was bubbling aggressively, and the slimy tendrils were wrapping themselves around the spoon. They didn't stop there, however, and slithered up the handle of the spoon to Reid's hand. He yelled out as the first hot, slippery noodle wrapped itself around his fingers. He tugged at the spoon even harder, but it was stuck fast in the glob of pasta. He was forced to release it, though the by this time his hand was half entwined.

The pasta glob grew larger and larger, soon becoming too big for the pot to hold. Reid was starting to panic now. He had no idea what was going on, there was no way to logically explain this. Pasta coming to life? He finally managed to break away, a few of the strands ripping. He backed away, bits of pasta on his hand, as he watched the pasta swell even larger.

Horrified, he saw it take on an almost humanistic form. About two feet tall, with two arms, two legs, and a head. His mouth hung open as he watched what would have been his dinner start walking around on his countertop. The pasta man walked right across the stove, its feet sticking to the counter slightly, and picked up the saucepan full of tomato sauce, and raised it to what would be its lips. I looked like it 'drank' the sauce, and Reid could see the sauce soak through the little creatures' body.

Reid shook himself, rubbing his eyes and peering back at the countertop, where the tiny monster was just throwing down the pan. Now it looked more sinister, the red sauce dripping everywhere. Reid stood backed up against the refrigerator as it turned towards him. It froze like that for a few moments, though it seemed much longer, before it very suddenly raised its arm up high in the air.

For a second nothing happened, and he was about to breathe a sigh of relief. But then the oven door flew open and the meatballs he had been baking marched out. They had grown little legs and were following the pasta man.

At this point, Reid ran out of his kitchen, terrified. His dinner had just come to life. He couldn't explain it at all, no logical justifications, and it frightened him greatly. He flew into his room and picked his gun up off the dresser where he kept it, running back just in time to see the spaghetti man walk out of the kitchen. The army of meatballs was walking behind him in rows.

Reid debated shooting at it for a second, wondering if it would do any good. It was just solid pasta and sauce. He stared as it came closer and closer again, before a different loud, sharp noise caught his attention.

Someone was knocking on his door, and Reid scampered over and ripped the door open, finding Morgan standing there.

"Hey Pretty Boy, I-"Morgan began to say, before Reid grabbed him by the arms, dragging him inside. He shoved Morgan towards the spaghetti man, and Morgan looked at it for a few seconds.

"What? What the hell is that thing?" he asked as it began to make its way towards them, meatball army in tow.

"I don't know! I was just making dinner and it came to life!" Reid said desperately.

"What did you put in it?" Morgan asked, turning to him.

"I didn't do anything! I just cooked the pasta, shaped the meatballs, and put a jar of sauce in a pan!" Reid said, defending himself.

The pasta man grabbed onto Morgan's leg, getting sauce all over his pants. He kicked out at it and it flew backwards, the meatball army catching it.

"Reid, man, that's not normal," Morgan said a look of fused confusion and slight panic on his face.

"Oh, really? I didn't know!" Reid said sarcastically, trying to trample a meatball which was trying to eat his shoe.

"Did you just make a joke?" Morgan asked curiously, ignoring the meatball climbing his pants leg.

"Is now really the time for that?" Reid asked angrily. "What do we do?"

"Well, we could always just eat it. It is spaghetti, after all," Morgan shrugged. He picked the meatball off his pants and popped it in his mouth. He chewed and swallowed, then grinned at Reid, who was just gaping at him.

"You just ate a live meatball," Reid said faintly.

"Yeah, and it was pretty tasty, actually," Morgan replied. Reid looked skeptically at the rest of the meatball army. The pasta man was sending them out one at a time to attack, and another one was just running towards him. He picked it up and held it out in front of him, examining it.

He slowly popped it in his mouth, and he realized that Morgan was right. It was pretty tasty. He didn't know what he expected, for it to keep kicking and squirming in his mouth? But it didn't. It was just a normal, albeit well-seasoned meatball.

Reid shrugged as well, and he and Morgan talked for a few minutes about the latest case they were on, eating meatballs one by one as they ran to them. After all of them were gone, they each grabbed a napkin to wipe off their fingers and mouths. They looked over to the spaghetti monster, who looked quite frightened. It was almost trembling.

"What's up with the spaghetti thing?" Morgan asked, leaning closer to Reid.

"I think it's afraid we're going to eat it," Reid said awkwardly. The little pasta man was cowering underneath a chair. Reid stood up and slowly walked over to it, kneeling down. The thought of 'What the heck am I doing, I'm talking to a man made of pasta' came into his head, but he dismissed it.

"Hey," he said softly. "It's okay. We're not gonna hurt you."

The pasta man slowly crept out from under the chair with a little bit of coaxing. After a few seconds, it jumped at Morgan, latching onto his head and attacking him with its little fists. Reid jumped up and grabbed the little man, removing him from his friends head.

He stood there holding it, while it flailed its arms and legs around, attempting to hit and kick something. Morgan grabbed a napkin off of his table and cleaned the sauce off of his face.

"You do realize it just tricked us, right?" Morgan asked as he wiped off his chin.

"Yeah, I guess," Reid mumbled. He almost lost his grip for a second, the sauce making it very slippery to try and hold on to. "What should we do with it?"

Morgan looked thoughtful for a second, before his eyes lit up. He started laughing, and Reid looked at him nervously. "What?"

"I think I have an idea."

~SPAGHETTI MAN ~

Hotch walked into the conference room, looking around at the six agents on his team. "What are we meeting here for?" he asked irritably. He had been working on some paperwork that accumulated, when Morgan had stopped by and told him he'd have to come to the round table room for a quick conference.

"Well," Morgan said, standing up and giving up his chair. Hotch sat down in the vacated seat, watching the agent with a calculating eye. "Reid and I have found us a mascot."

"A mascot? Seriously guys?" JJ asked, looking at them curiously. Reid jumped up and pulled a box out from under the table.

"Yes. He doesn't have a name as of right now, but we can figure that out together," Reid said, looking around.

"Pets aren't really allowed in the building, are they?" Rossi asked curiously.

"Well, not technically, no. But he won't be living here," Morgan stated.

"Alright, you guys ready to see him?" Reid asked, and they all nodded skeptically. Garcia looked at the box interestingly, hoping it was some sort of fluffy something. Morgan went and shut the door so it didn't escape.

The screams that emanated from the Conference Room were heard all the way from the Bullpen.

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**Haha, well that's that! What'd you think?**

**Review or I'll set spaghetti man on you! XD**


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